Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A Tale of Two Existentialists…and a Puritan: An Exercise in Classics Mad Libs.

One of the things I have wrestled with since I started blogging is the question, ‘What’s worth posting?’ I have a half dozen pieces that I have written that I haven’t posted because I’m not sure anyone would be interested.

A couple include:
My top 8 sports events (watched or experienced)
The top 14 hikes from our pre-baby hiking days (in 4 parts)

I have decided to post them and let you decide. And since I am working on a kind of massive post for next week, here is one of them.

We always open our small group with some sort of game/contest to get everyone talking and to learn a little about each other. I was in charge of this activity a couple weeks ago and decided to read half a sentence from three classic books. Everyone finished the sentence on a piece of paper, then I read them and we all tried to guess who’s it was. Here are some of the responses:

First, from the greatest novel of all time: The Brothers Karamazov by Feodor Dostoyevsky

"You're a pretty monk! So there is a little devil sitting…"

…on your shoulder telling you that “yes that robe makes your butt look fat.”
…on the toilet.
…on the side of the road trying to sell lemonade for 25¢ a cup.
…that’s all. He’s just sitting. Oh and he has severe diarrhea.
(Note: I somehow lost most of these. If you are reading and remember yours please add it in the comments.)

Next, from Camus best novel, The Plague:

"Everybody know that pestilences have a way of recurring in the world, yet somehow everyone finds it hard to believe that…"

…that Britney Spears is making yet another comeback.
…that you don’t actually have to buy anything to enter the Publishers’ Clearing House sweepstakes drawing.
…it can happen in their time.
…that they need to know how to use their HMO insurance.
…that I sold a single copy of this ridiculous book.[1]
…that they are cased by aliens from mars that visit over and over…I believe.
…that pestilence has nothing to do with knights jousting groundhogs.[2]
…that melting glaciers are releasing previously trapped microbes and that global warming is to blame.
…that the lives of their neighbors, friends, or family could possibly be claimed by sickness, not to mention their very lives.
And, Finally, from Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress:

"Then he said with a whip, it is the flatterer, a false apostle that has transformed himself into…"

…the most fearsome WWF wrestler to walk this earth.
…a turtle, a dove, something from above. A bird, a hawk, a never changing clock. A ring a wrong, a really lousy song.
…a frog prince awaiting a beautiful maiden’s kiss.
…a pink hippopotamus.
…Mark, 13th Viceroy of the Emyrean Embassy of Wannahaka Loogiesant and Impersonal Ambassador of his exalted majesty Sir Pork Chop the Magnificent, wearer of fluffy hats and purveyor of Backstreet Boys slappers.
…our modern social demand that you deserve and need it all.
…Brittney spears wearing unflattering monk robe and carrying an alien abducting devil with diarrhea and who can’t use her HMO to cure it.
…a heavy handed puritan metaphor.
(Note: Yeah, that one is mine too. Driscoll, Piper et al would be very disappointed to find out that I enjoy the existentialists much more than the Puritans[4]….though I have yet to read Owen. I hear that could change things)

So there it is…Feel free to take a shot at one or more of these in the comments section?

[1] Let’s just say Steve Haffly doesn’t share my literary tastes.
[2] Get it, pest (groundhog) lance (knights). Pest-i-lance. Jousting groundhogs. This was mine, I’m very proud of it.
[3] Two+ year old Elizabeth Spencer did this one. For democrats it could kind of work. Though, in fairness, it could also be ‘M’ or ‘bird’ depending on which way you turn the paper.
[4] Though the puritans really get a bad rap. Check this out.

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