NANOWRIMOPart 2: How I started writing again
So, I did
it. I managed to put together almost
60,000 words (50k this month) that in another 20K and with another 20 drafts,
might actually be a novel. The plan is
to work the text over the next 8 months (while I read a bunch of books about
how to actually construct a sentence and show-not-tell[1])
and give it to my reading group and my friend Tiffany to read at the end of
summer. But over the course the month
I’ve been keeping some notes about my process and stuff I learned. So, here are 10 things I learned.
I didn’t
plan it this way, but these start with ‘things I learned’ and moved
progressively to ‘things that I seem to be confused about.’1. Character maps
One of the
best bits of writing advice wasn’t writing advice. It was this:
http://xkcd.com/657/ [2]
(Seriously,
click the link. I don’t even care if you come back. I mean, I care, I just think your experience
of the link will be superior to your experience of the post.)
I mentioned
last time that the primary thing I enjoy about writing is discovering
characters personality, background, motivations, and choices. Characters need to be free entities. Writing is discovery. But like with almost everything else in human
life, freedom happens best on a backdrop of constraint. Structure allows freedom to flourish. And I found these temporal, interpersonal charecter maps to be the best way to conceptualize the narrative structure.
Apparently
the opposite of outlining in fiction lingo is ‘panting.’ I assume the etymology of that is ‘flying by
the seat of your pants’-ing not gleefully pulling the birches of outliners down
to their knees whenever possible. Being
a Pantser sounds like more fun than being an outliner…but my experience is
otherwise. And that is because I am
only capable of…
2.
Non-linear writing
Maybe
somewhere there is someone who starts at the beginning and writes sequential sentences
until the end[3],
but I have never done that…ever. Not in
thousands of pages of technical reports, not in journal articles, not in talks,
not in stories, not even in this post.
The sentence you are reading was crafted after 1,170 words of this post
had already been written. Having a
character map allows more freedom because I can write any part of the story at
any time. And if you write yourself out
of a character map…you get to draw another one, which is a delightful way to
spend 15 minutes. And part of the reason
I have to write non-linearly is that I…
3.
Write to an ending
I hate
accidental endings. Bad endings hide
behind ‘non resolution is like artsy and realistic and stuff.’ Whatever.
Until you have an ending, you don’t have a story. So I don’t put serious work into a project
until I at least have an idea for an ending that is promising.
4.
Write your way into inspiration.
Maybe the
biggest surprise is how much my disciplines of non-fiction writing (journals
articles, scientific reports, talks, blogs and sermons) are exactly the same
disciplines.[4] Mainly, don’t write when you feel inspired,
write until you feel inspired. Almost
every author I have read on the craft says something like this, but my favorite
was a Nano pep talk by Malinda Lo:
Inspiration is like that hot girl or
guy you met at a party one time—and when you talked to him or her, it seemed
like you totally clicked. There was eye contact; there was flirting; maybe
there was even a bit of casual brushing of your hand over theirs, right? I
know. I’ve been there. At the end of the night they asked for your number and
said, “I’ll definitely call you. We should hang out.”
But then they never did, and you were
left waiting for a call that never came, feeling increasingly like a fool. [5]
Inspiration
is not a reliable consort. She does not
call often enough to sustain a relationship.
But if you keep showing up to where she hangs out (for me, every morning
at Pete’s between 6 and 8 am), she’ll eventually come over and sit with you
most mornings (when she’s good and ready).[6]5. World maps
Turns out, consistent world building is hard.[7] It seems like every time I fix a problem with my world’s realism, it causes another one. I think that is why so many fictional worlds are so thin. Because if you burrow down too far, they rest on a turtle which rests on an elephant who answers to the name ‘suspension of disbelief’.
I have had
to change many things about my world because when they played out, they
didn’t. But about 20,000 words in, I was
ready for a map. And that made a huge
the difference in the spatiotemporal flow of the narrative. No more ‘hold on, the elves, totally don’t
have time to march on Helms Deep’ embarrassments. Time and space solidified, and world building
gets 20% easier.[8]
6.
My characters are chatty…and lazy (..and have potty mouths).[9]
I find that
my characters are really chatty and not particularly ‘do-ey’. They would rather talk, to each other or even
just listen to their own inner monologue than do things.[10] Don’t they know that it is their job to
generate plot for me. It is LITTERALLY
the purpose of their existence. I need
them to explore, discover this totally unique world I have created for them[11],
pick fights, create conflict. But they
would rather buy another round of drinks and spend another 2000 words growing
relationships. They seem way more
interested in the conversation in the car than the place I am taking them or
what will happen there. This seems like
a problem.[12]
Oh, and they
do not appear to be constrained to my adopted social conventions regarding
evocative language. The three page
chapter I wrote on the first day of Nanowrimo has no fewer than 13
F-bombs. But I can’t seem to imagine a
dystopic society with vice based economies where everyone uses PG language. My characters are evocative people and use
evocative language, sometimes artfully and sometimes artlessly, and don’t seem
to care that I, personally, tend to shy away from naughty words.[13] The upshot of this is that I am writing a
novel that my mother will not enjoy (which means I have alienated my only reliable
fan). One the upside, I won’t get
questions about it being a ‘Christian novel.’[14]7. Write the novel I want to read
This is what
people say to do. So I’m doing it.[15] But I am peculiar. So I’m still not entirely convinced this is a
good idea.[16]
8.
Negotiating a word count challenge
I was
skeptical about the Nanowrimo’s focus on word count.[17] Writing is editing. You may have noticed, my biggest liability as
a writer[18]
is overly complex sentences.[19] The first thing I do with any creative or
technical draft is to play the ‘can I say that in fewer words’ game.[20] Usually I can. This is not in the spirit (or the
incentivization structure of Nano). I
refuse to not-edit. Not-editing is
stupid. Editing both improves your past
writing and invites you into your world to put you in the framework to generate
new story.
But I was
saved by a technique that would be familiar to anyone who has read this blog
for more than say 6 minutes.
Footnotes. If I hate a paragraph
or remove a phrase, or find a particular bit of evocative content too evocative
but want to ‘count’ the words… Into the footnotes it goes. This gets the benefit of Nano (create a
bucket of narrative raw material and promising if currently unusable sentences
that you can shape into something later) while getting a start on the actual
work of editing.9. Multiple POV
I once read
a book that said in no uncertain terms, that your first novel (and probably all
the rest of them – or at least all of them until one of them is published)
should be single perspective. This
seemed sensible. Until I tried to write
an ensemble piece from a single POV. And
then I read a bunch of George RR, and saw multiple POV done well.[21]
So I added a
second POV. In addition to my initial
male POV I started writing a woman as well.
There is a problem, though. I
like writing the woman better. She is
more interesting and more observant and smarter[22]
and more sympathetic. I feel like I am
only keeping the male POV I started in as a way of moving the plot along in her
absence (without going all omniscient) and because I don’t trust my female
voice (and think it might even be a little offensive). Which leads to…10. I am very nervous writing non-white or female…
I feel like
I should be. I feel like it is
preposterously presumptuous for a white dude to try to write black or Asian or
female[23]
if you are not those things.
But this has
a deeply unfortunate result. All of my
main characters are white,[24] and most of them are dudes.[25] But my city is supposed to be a cosmopolitan
confluence of cultures. [26] I have one really interesting[27],
morally complex character who is part antagonist, part protagonist, who is an
African man, and I am having a lot of difficulty[28] writing him. But I already have white
villains and it subverts my premise that all the antagonists would be western.[29] I’m not really sure what the answer is to
this.[30] By writing another culture I am presuming to
understand. In one sense, writing is a
good exercise in ‘imagining the other complexly.’ Writing is an exercise in attempted
empathy. But in another sense, if I am
trying to tell a story and not just experience one, I am claiming a perspective
I don’t have and can’t truly imagine. So, um, that is not something I’ve
learned…unless maybe it is something I have learned is hard.This post was written while listening to Radical Face's The Family Tree
[1]
And most importantly, work my way all the way through the archives of the
‘Writing Excuses’ podcasts (http://www.writingexcuses.com/). Without a doubt my favorite discovery in this
process that wasn’t actually something I discovered about my imaginary world or
characters.
[2]
The first thing I did after this…was watch Primer. Which I highly recommend, with the disclaimer
that I spent more time looking at internet charts explaining the film
afterwards than the run time of the project.
Also, a $7,000 budget. Not a
typo.
[3]
Actually, my friend Bronwyn writes talks like this. Not me.
I call it the ‘inductive method’ – I write a ton of fragments, find the
best ones with a theme through them…and then fill in connective tissue. This is very similar to how I write
fiction. But to write the scene I am
most tuned into, I need to know what scenes are in play.
[4]
There are a few new ones. Like in fiction,
if you are hopelessly stuck, I have found 15 minute brain storms helpful. This is a pen and paper (no typing) exercise
where you write down every possible plot development you can think of for 15
minutes…absolutely every one. No thought
can cross your mind without getting at least one word in the notebook. This is not encouraged in science or exegesis. But both of those have data you can
constantly go back to. Fiction has no
data, so in a sense, these exercises are Monte Carlo data mining instruments to
make ‘observations’ and test ‘hypotheses’ about your fictional world and characters. Oh, and by the way, science and exegesis
might progress faster if we did a little more hypothesis brain storming to
avoid paradigm bias.
[5]
One of the fun parts of Nano is that they mail out ‘pep talks’ from established
authors. My favorite line was from one
written in the voice of your novel. Best
line: “All novels have abandonment issues.”
[6]
Still, always carry a notebook, because when she does feel like picking up the
phone, you want to be ready, because it is usually special.
[7]
I’m not sure why I was surprised by that.
I guess it shows that after 2 science degrees and 2 engineering degrees
I still don’t intuitively appreciate the complexity of social and environmental
feedbacks. A fictional world is an
ecosystem and anything you change echoes through the rest of it. Turns out creating a world is hard. I feel like a kid who just tried to do
something his dad made look easy and suddenly realized ‘Dad is pretty freaking
awesome’.
[8] I
started out with the story playing out on a canvas “About the size of
Lithuania” before I realized that was way too big and compressed it to a city
“about the size of Moscow.” Which means
that even in really bad traffic I can still get any two characters together in
90 minutes. And yes, the character who
sets the spatial context is Russian.
[9]
And think and talk a lot about sex and God.
[10] I
have one character that literally spent 600 words looking at herself in a
mirror. I tried to pare it down, and ended
up ADDING two paragraphs. This morning I
sent my characters on the longest possible point to point drive in my city and
was much more interested in what they would talk about on the way than what
they would find when they got there. I
think I’m doing this wrong.
[11]
Another spiritual analog. Dorothy Sayers
says that the Imagio Dei…the image of God that the creator bestows on people in
Genesis 1, has to be something we know about him in those first few verses. And the only thing we really know is that he
creates good things and enjoys it. So,
she argues, creativity is the image of God, the thing that makes humans
special. Therefore, just like with
parenting, I am unsurprised to find theological insight in the practice of
creation.
[12]
Also because I am obstentiably (I’m just going to go ahead and leave that
misspelled because I have never in my life spelled it close enough to correct
that Word gave me options) writing a ‘science fiction’ novel and using science
to build a strange and surreal world, where ordinary people basically talk and
have human relationships. Is that really
science fiction?
[13] I
am not blaming imaginary people for my choices here. It is my choice to use language as an aspect
of characterization. But language is an aspect of characterization. Our selection and use of evocative language
is one of the ways we signal to other people what we are about before they know
us very well.
[14]
Because caution with evocative language is the primary social signal of
Christian fidelity in our culture…which is absurd.
[15] I
actually really enjoy re-reading the novel, particularly the parts I’ve edited
6-10 times.
[16]
Hmm, I don’t see an agent on the list under the key words “Christian themes”
and “Parental Advisory”…I must not be using this search engine right.
[17]
The challenge is to write 50,000 words in a month. If you do, you ‘win’ and get a pretty
icon. Brains are funny. You can get them to do amazing thing by
deceiving them with surprisingly transparent tricks. And if you think I am somehow above being
motivated by ‘winning’ and acquiring a few pixels next to my name, we have not
met.
[18]
Technical or creative, fiction or non.
[19]
And I think I need some sort of brain procedure that will help me hear and fix
passive voice.
[20]
This is a blog. There are no
drafts. So you get my terrible
sentences. Actually, that is a bold face
lie. I edit the heck out of blog posts,
which is why the blog is pretty quiet. I
have 6-8 posts that are on a non-first draft but I’m not willing to post
them. But that is the problem. My sentences are still far too convoluted
after several drafts. Editing is the
real work of writing. At least for me.
[21]
In additional to Martain’s multiple POV’s I feel like Duncan’s muti-genre
fiction has given me a really effective tool in story telling. Duncan uses ‘found literature’ (e.g. a story
one of the characters wrote in 4th grade, letters they exchanged,
journals) to move the stories forward.
This also allows him tell a story in the POV of a character without
revealing if they survive (and, in fact, suggesting they don’t since the
document fell into the hands of the story teller(s)). I am more than influenced by Duncan. I have copied him. I love Martian but I don’t want to write like
him. If I could chose a contemporary mentor,
it would be Duncan.
[22]
Is it weird that one of my characters is smarter than another, when if you ask
me I’d say they were of about equal intelligence and they are both extensions
of my brain. But she is.
[23]
And my one experience writing gay was so terrifying that it lasted about 25
minutes. I actually really loved the
character (and his story), but didn’t trust my ability to write him.
[24]
Don’t worry, one’s from England. DIVERSITY!!
[25] I
have even developed a running bit about this, developing a social category
called WiDAPs (White Dudes Alienated by Privilege)
[26]
Its cultural properties are a direct result of its physical properties. And yes, I’m being super vague. I actually love my world so much that I don’t
want to describe it on the internet, because it is the projection of actual
physical processes and in the hands of a better writer it would make an amazing
story.
[27]
To me.
[28]
Not technical difficulty, moral difficulty.
He might be the easiest character to write. Which makes me even more nervous.
[29]
In fact, my collection of protagonists can just be a failure of small sample
bias or self sorting. But to make all of
my villains white suggest that only white people were clever enough to raise to
positions of power which is itself offensive.
[30]
Though after writing this I listened to the ‘Writing Excuses’ episode on
writing across gender and they had some insight including: “you can get away
with mistakes because individuals break gender stereo types in several
ways. But you can't do a lot of them
that way.”
And “Learn what the gender stereo types are then don't
do them.” Or as one of them said “What wouldn’t
Alan Sorkin do.” Ouch.
9 comments:
I have to ask: What was difficult about writing a gay character?
Hi Joel, It was the same as writing outside of my gender or ethnicity or socioeconomic class. It isn't my experience and I don't trust my instincts or imagination about what it might be like. But for some reason (probably the tone and history of public discourse on LGBT issues) I am even more concerned about caricaturing the gay experience, particularly as a Christian. So I decided not to try.
If I had half the mental horse power you did and one quarter the drive I could have written dozens of books by now!
I have my doubts about the advice to write of the book that one wants to read. Sometimes it seems rather that one writes what one has been given. The spaces and such like that one has received seem somewhat determinant in writing possibilities. I WANT to write richly imagined fiction set in New York City--often associated with Jewish characters or sensibilities, with the gorgeous spastic-ness of neologism and a glut of vibrant research (Foer, Chabon, most recent Pynchon). I don't want those books to end. I have the background RESOURCES to write something more along the boredom/theological spectrum of a hack-derivative of Wendell Berry (don't have the chops of Marilynne). Maybe I need more ambition? Well,then again, since I don't really WRITE fiction, maybe it's no big deal? I'd be interested, however, in your thoughts on the idea of want vs. given.
P.S. Just a thought here on your summer: you've got a much better chance of getting quick feedback if "late in summer" is August 1. Although, would I really be able to resist? Not sure...
I don't speak for all of my people, but I would totally trust you to write LGBT people. Every author eventually writes outside of their race, gender, orientation, identity, etc. You're compassionate and thoughtful enough to be conscientious about it and to be aware that you don't want to veer into caricature or unintended insult.
Also, congrats on hitting the NaNoWriMo word count!
Footnote 14 made me laugh / I totally agree. Honestly, there is such a fear of language here in the South (is VA the South?) that I am torn between fear of losing all my new friends if I say "dang" and wanting to say worse things like "hell" just so they know I don't care about their silly social rules. But I do care, that's the problem. Which ties in with what else I was going to say...
Good books are all about people. Conversations. Relationships. That is, at its core, what life is about. So if your book is about that (mine is too, by the way), then I think you're just showing another thing about the world God created - and probably coming up with something more realistic than if your characters just ran around *doing* all the time and never stopped to chat/swear/etc.
Ps. The best written female characters I have ever read were not from Jane Austen or the like, but from Robert Jordan, author of the Wheel of Time series. He doesn't follow convention, but I could honestly imagine a bit of myself in each of his female protagonists (he has about 50 main characters and 500 side characters) and believer everything they thought, said, and did as something a woman would think, say, and do.
Liz,
I agree that fiction is primarily about relationship and character. My concern with characters that are so chatty is that I am not a novelist...I'm an essayist that is trying to smuggle didactic prose into the guise of a narrative (which is a significant fear given that Dostoyevsky, Camus and Lewis were my early influences...and still, in many ways are the dominant influences). It seems dishonest and probably makes for really pedantic (unreadable) fiction. So that is my concern.
Tiffany,
What a fantastic question.
Here's how I think about 'given' verses 'desire' with respect to research and I'll expand to writing from there. Sometimes there is a line of research that is moderately interesting but I am uniquely qualified to make an incremental contribution. And so I do. I sometimes do research not because it is deeply needed or inspiring, but because opportunity matches my resources...because it is 'given'. But sometimes research is driven by a burning question. Sometimes I want to answer a question that is big and pressing and that I am not particularly qualified to take up but no one else is doing it. That is the equivalent of 'writing the novel I'd want to read.' I do both. I mostly bang out incremental research where the question matches my resources, but sometimes there is a big question that doesn't match my resources...but it matches my imagination. I have an idea and chase it for years until I find funding and move my family to Mississippi to try to make it happen (for example).
The later is higher risk, but its more fun.
For me, no creative writing (even derivative Wendel-esque non-fiction, which I doubt describes your book) is 'given.' Any attempt I make at non-technical writing is a shot at 'writing what I'd want to read.' I am not qualified to do any of it, so I have the freedom to 'swing for the fences' and write exactly what I want. But in another sense, many of the people and events in my novel are fictionalized accounts of adventures I've had doing engineering in obscure places and the remarkably eclectic cast of friends I have had. So in a sense, even my most outlandish attempt is bounded by a certain 'giveness'.
I think another way to look at it is that we earn our way out of 'giveness.' I did incremental science for a long time before someone gave me a shot to do imaginative work. The difference between your book and mine is that someone asked for yours. Mine is cosmically unsolicited. You have constraints I don’t have because you are doing this for real…I’m just playing at it. For someone to ask for a work from you (especially the first one) it is because they sense that you have actually been 'given' a work. But after being faithful with giveness for a while, something more experimental might be up for grabs.
Also, editing is going painfully slow. It might be next summer. But if you are looking for Beta readers and are interested I’d be happy to preemptively return the favor.
Post a Comment